I am currently sitting in a coffee shop, and I’ve been struck by a familiar feeling of awe for the life I get to live. It arrives often, this feeling, and today I felt called to write from within it.

From the smallest acknowledgments of gratitude to the larger moments of meaningful coincidence (what Jung would call synchronicity), I am frequently moved by this deep sense of awe and wonder for life.

I see beauty in many of my encounters in the world. I also see pain and I send love in that direction, and when I am to experience pain, I am still able to hold on to an appreciation for that feeling, and an acceptance that existence involves pain. 

In even my most painful encounters in life, I have previously always managed to find something positive, but an even more fulfilling and awe-inducing way of being has emerged over recent years: 

Holding multiple emotional states at once, despite their contradictions, and finding peace in  the truth that life is inherently rhythmic, textured, uneven- not simply ‘ups and downs’, but a kind of emotional polyphony.

I believe the fullness of my life is a result of this  internal state of being- it is something that I have been able to cultivate over the course of many years, it has been a journey and continues to be so. 

Much of this feeling of awe is difficult to write about, as it is in essence, a felt sense. I am reminded of Merleau-Ponty’s Phenomenology, his understanding that each person’s experience of the world is inseparable from their embodiment and history.

He writes: “the world is what we perceive” (Merleau-Ponty, 1962, p. 3).

This resonates deeply with me. 

It elicits both warmth and a deep existential ache- the knowledge that our inner world shapes our outer reality can feel beautifully intimate and, at times, existentially lonely (but that’s another blog post).

It is worth noting here, that my experience of awe does not erase difficulty. Pain is part of existence, I have accepted this as truth and do not deny myself ‘bad days’. There was a time when I dipped into what is colloquially called ‘toxic positivity’- an insistence on cheerfulness at the expense of authenticity. I have been there, and no longer reside there.

Another theoretical  thread that feels relevant is Nietzsche’s “Of the Three Metamorphoses”, where he describes the transformations of the spirit, where the spirit becomes the Camel, laden with unquestioned responsibilities and ‘shoulds’, the Camel becomes the Lion, who ferociously rejects such constrains and begins to create life the way they wish it, and finally, a returning to the Child- a state of creativity, imagination, a “sacred yes” to life. 

I deeply feel this sacred yes, an acceptance and excitement for the life I have ‘created’, internally in my experience of the world, and externally in how the world responds to me. 

The child here is not a regression to real childhood, but a return to the childlike sense of wonder, with all the former  ‘stages’ of personal development integrated; burden, rebellion and creation woven together. 

I don’t fully know how I became this way, but I am very, very grateful to be here. Everyone’s journey is unique, and I am not in the habit of advising others, but I do believe that once you put on these goggles of gratitude, appreciation, acceptance… you really can’t take them off. 

Life smiles back at you. 

Further Reading

Merleau-Ponty, M. (1962). Phenomenology of Perception. Routledge.

Explores how we experience the world through our embodied, emotional, and historical selves.

Nietzsche, F. (1883). Thus Spoke Zarathustra.

Especially the section Of the Three Metamorphoses, where Nietzsche describes the symbolic journey of the spirit: from Camel to Lion to Child. A poetic exploration of inner transformation and the sacred yes to life.

Jung, C. G. (1952). Synchronicity: An Acausal Connecting Principle. Princeton University Press.

Jung’s exploration of meaningful coincidences offers a framework for understanding those moments of alignment and wonder that feel larger than ‘coincidence’.