I previously alluded to a pending blog post about advice, and well, here it is! There’s some prefacing to be made, so I’ll go ahead and do that first.

1. Advice can be useful in many ways for many different people
2. It is perfectly reasonable to have a desire to seek advice
3. You can take advice—really, you can do whatever you like, the irony isn’t lost on me. The title is just a playful nod to that paradox

So, advice…why not take it? Well, this is not meant as a protest against learning from others, but rather as a caution. When considering taking advice from someone, I believe one should really closely examine the following: what lens does this person see the world through, how does this person see you, and is it possible that the advice they’re offering suits them much more than it suits you? The latter suggestion is something I consider often: As well-intentioned and good-natured as we may be when offering someone advice, how much access to our own unconscious motivations do we have? If our advice is motivated by a wish to alleviate our friend’s discomfort, is the advice we’re giving truly doing that?

I think it’s safe to say we only know so much of ourselves. Some people are also not particularly interested in exploring the depths of their psyche, and those that do may likely find that there’s still a long way to go. I believe in the sentiment that ‘you can only know someone as far as they know themselves,’ and in turn, the reverse is also true: you can only know others as much as you know yourself. All of this philo-psycho babble aside, if you accept the notion that only you can truly ‘know’ yourself, be present with all of your internal thoughts, and so on, how could anyone effectively advise you when they’ve only been given parts of the puzzle? Are we even aware of what the finished puzzle looks like?

I’d opt for seeking perspective instead. Speak to those close to you, speak to those far away from you, learn about yourself in relation to others, examine your wishes, motivations and fears. Or ultimately, do whatever you want—as most people do anyway. After all, who am I to offer you advice?